Give it a year...or two.

It's official. My family has been in this little town for 13 months. And like my usual over-analyzing self, I've been evaluating all of the decisions we have made leading up to and since moving here. Mostly, I've been doing some self reflecting.

I'm not going to go into the details but I will share one particular piece of this crazy pie that I still struggle to get my arms around. It's the friend issue.

Growing up, I was one of those people with a lot of half-friends and really no super-close ones. And that was fine with me. Once I was old enough, I generally spent my time with a boyfriend anyway...and let's face it, girls can be really two-faced.

In college, I found my first true best friend. The one you spend most of your time with and call all the time, etc. It was fun...but it didn't last. Through work, I made another group of friends who I believe will always hold me somewhere in their hearts as I will of them. I made another really close friend.

And then we moved.

While I was told it would take a year to adjust and start to feel at home, I feel whatever that destination is, I still can't see it from the road I'm on. There are no mile markers in sight. At kid events, there are women who speak to me but it never really goes beyond the fact that our kids know each other. There's no Saturday coffee. No shopping outings. Nothing. Just silence and the random text from friends gone by. I'm not trying to sound like a pouter. I just expected something different. Something a little more genuine. But as it turns out, these small towns groups seem harder to break into than those of 'the city'. And the possibility of two-facedness seems greater than I even remember as a kid.

The one thing I can't figure out is whether this is a small town issue or more of a female curse. Let's just hope it doesn't take another 12 months to figure it out.

Multi-Family...Pajama Party

I promise this blog won't become just about kids, but I have to say, I keep being amazed by how supportive people are around here. Here's another perfect example:

This past weekend was our town's annual bash where BBQ folks, beer makers,wine makers and 'concoction' makers were invited to come and show off their skills. There were official judges and then people's choice. A street dance (of course). And some kid games. My kids, a good friend and I spent much of the day at the event so that the kids could play and ride their bikes around town. It was relaxing and as stress-free as usual. I'm being very serious here...no drama.

That evening, we let them play again while we sampled some of the great food. And, like usual, there were other parents looking out for my kids and I was looking out for theirs...all without talking it over. You just do it. But at the 'adult' hour, it was time to head to the sitters. Only this time, because we were having some trouble finding one, and I guess this is something else people do around here, our kids went to another kids house where several high school girls watched them.  We packed a few snacks, their pj's and off we went. Luckily, this house was also between our home and the dance so we could walk to drop them off and pick them up. Perfect.

When we asked if our kids could join the rest, there was no hesitation and a 'the more, the merrier' reaction from the homeowners. I fear that in most places, such a situation would come back at us with a 'what's in it for us' reaction. Truly amazing and wonderful.

Which reminds me...I had a thank you card sitting here to send them.

Preserving Americana

This past week was Carnival Days in our small town. I wasn't sure what to think as the event approached. For some reason, I couldn't imagine a bunch of huge, brightly colored carnival rides filling the few streets of this town. I was even more surprised when I learned that it's also a three day event. (Keep in mind, I'm not a huge fan of carnivals...from the people to the rides themselves, I'm just a little freaked out by the whole thing.)

But on the first night, we loaded up our kids in sweatshirts and jeans and an umbrella and away we went. Games for kids kicked off the event and we had a blast. I love watching my children make new friends. It seems so easy at the age of five. Following the games, we hit the rides and games. I felt like a mom who's got it all figured out, it was a postcard-perfect evening.

The next night was much of the same. Grandma's and grandpa's, parents, relatives and friends watched as their kids raced around from ride to ride, sometimes with their friends, sometimes with an adult...the magic was repeated again the third night.

What I realized this morning after finally catching up on some sleep is that it wasn't just a carnival. It was a clear and perfect example of how this town is working to preserve something very special. It's about families spending real time together. A community coming together to celebrate just being there. Enjoying this "Good Life" that Nebraskans supposedly live by. And in this case, it was very true. That 50's type of nostalgia isn't dead here. In fact, it's very much alive and I'm so excited to be apart of it, and raise my kids in it.

Doing the wave.

Growing up in a farm community, waving to people as they passed by was second nature. I never really thought twice about it. A few fingers or the whole hand, it all depended on how you were driving or what you were doing when they drove by the house. But we always waved.

Thirteen years later, it's time to get friendly again. Since moving up here, I've noticed that if you see a 23 or 26 county vehicle, you wave. After all, there's a ninety-five percent chance that whoever is in that car will be waving as well. So now, I place my hand on the steering wheel in a way that I know I can wave if I meet someone on the road. It sounds weird...even weirder to type it but it's true. Somehow I'm not sure a giant head nod is good enough. The even stranger thing is that I find it somewhat comforting to see people waving at each other. It gives me hope that maybe my kids will grow up knowing what it means to be friendly even if you don't know the person on the other side.

In fact, this past weekend a friend of mine came up to see how the country folk live. Keep in mind, this woman very rarely ventures off of the interstate. But her GPS got her here with no trouble. And the first thing out of her mouth was that people kept waving to her as soon as she pulled into town. I couldn't help but smile. She got her first taste of this simple, friendly little life that we're building here. And I was so glad that it was something as simple as a wave.

Oh, and if you're wondering if she reciprocated the wave...she doesn't wave at strangers.

Bringing back the friendship.

My husband and I have had more date nights in the last four months than we have over the last six years of marriage...or at least the last five (I spent our first year pregnant with our son so we may have had a date or two). A wonderful thing about small towns or rural areas in general is that teens still babysit.

When we lived close to a metro area, a majority of girls, once they reached 16 anyway, worked in the city. There were very few babysitters and those that were around were not available very often. And living hours from family took the grandparent card right out of the equation.

So here we are, with an abundance of babysitters, and what's more, a mom stopped me the other day to let me know that her daughter is turning 13 this month and would like to babysit my kids. (can you hear the angels singing, too?) Between grandpa needing a grandkid fix and these sitters, I'd say my husband and I have a chance to put a little more friendship...if not romance...back into our lives. And maybe, just maybe, we'll find something to talk about other than our kids.

Seats available.

We've been here for about four months now. And I can't say that the adjustment has gotten any easier. I still have days that I bask in my newfound freedom to set my own schedule, hit the open road and discover my new surroundings. But then, there are just as many days that I question everything. Who I am. What I was placed on this earth to do. And the biggie: did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?

Through the good and bad, what I hear and see more and more is how the population is dwindling. Houses sit empty. Businesses close. Schools are almost too eager to enroll your children.

And everyone let's me know how happy they are to see a young family move back.

What I've learned, I learned watching TV. By making this move, we are ultimately choosing to work in order to live. We are no longer living to work. Basically, we may be giving up bigger salaries but we're gaining greater freedom and a slower pace which allows us to breath deep and take more time to appreciate the small blessings that have.

So if you're tired of the rat race, we've got a seat with your name on it.